A confession- love.

Have you ever had one of those days, where you just want to fucking cry because you see couples everywhere, or you see someone you wanted to be with and make happy, with someone else and happy with that new person? Well... today is definatley one of those days. Its not that I'm upset that this person has someone else, and that it's not me, I'm not big on the whole jealousy thing... it's more like I'm upset that I failed. I could not provide the connection and the happiness I had dreamed about exchanging with this person and that I could not be all they wanted/needed/ deserved (<-- thats more like it). Not to mention everywhere I turn is a romantic poster, an old cute couple that still holds hands and still has that twinkle in their eyes for eachother, a young new couple the kind that still goes on friday night movie dates and gets picked up by their parents, or even a fighting angry couple on the verge of going their seperate ways. It's all there right in front of me. Even though in a previous blog I had mentioned how I should not be concerned about my love life because I won't be getting "hitched" anytime soon, I regret that statement. I was bitter. I miss being young enough to catch a friday night movie and have a horrible make out session. I miss holding hands and dancing like a fucking foot apart. I miss the part of relationships where they progress into that stage where you just can't get enough of that other person. And fuck, I even miss the part of the relationship where you start noticing those little things that are a larger than life annoyance. All because in the end, its worth it... I can either cry and move on; Laugh at the experience and wonder what I was thinking; Or run back into that persons arms and kiss everything all better. Its a part of growing up, and it's a part of building your heart up for the future. And my god it's sucha rush. I want that rush, I don't want to be alone, I don't want to fail again. I want to make someone happy. So sue me.