Losing Faith

Okay, so this post, is about losing faith. It's probably just summing up alot that I have said in past blogs and I don't know if it's going to sound repetative(uhh sp. check?!) but if I am repeating myself oh well. It just goes to show how strongly i feel about this topic.
So here I go. I've lost faith in many things, despite what people usually mean by losing faith, I do not mean religiously speaking, I'm not religious. I've lost faith in people, humanity, individuality, love, marraige, and of course future generations. People have become so monotonous (sp check again.) and not just vocally. Look around you next time your at the mall or something. Yeahhh theres lots of varieties of people. But look at the groups themselves. They all wear the same things, in different colors and sizes, they all do their hair in similar variations, and they all have the same motives. Today I was asked what my style was, not a dumb question just very hard to answer. I don't have one. I wear Hollister one day, the next day I'll wear all black, the day after that I will wear my (not joking) highliter-yellow colored pants with a retro tee. I wear what I want when I want, as long as it makes me feel good about myself, or even just comfortable. I'm sick of seeing the same thing everywhere. I always find it funny when I'm walking somewhere and two girls walk by and GLARE at eachother because they're wearing the same thing. It's quite entertaining. But anyways, I get so frusterated with people, who are afraid to dress differently, or act differently, or show different or "weird" interest according to their friends. I've been called outrageous because I dont care what people think. Darling I'm not outrageous I just don't give a fuck, do what makes you happy, I find myself giving this advice to people time after time. And all I get is "ehhh I dont know Sammi" Well fucking, stop asking me then because if you're not willing to be happy, you're setting me up for dissapointment. I'm dissapointed that people are so concerned with what others think that it gets to the point, where they refuse to be happy. That is why I've lost faith in individuality and humanity (theres more to the humanity part im not sure whether or not I will get into it.)
I've lost faith in love for so many fucking reasons. It seems to me, that it is impossible for one person to be happy with just one other person. They always go for that forbidden fruit. The truth is, everybody cheats, everybody lies and sooner or later everybody says I love you and doesn't mean it. They may in that moment think they mean it but later on in some other chapter of their lives they'll go "Damn what was I thinking. " And here's what you were thinking ladies and gentlemen... ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. You weren't thinking; not about what you just started, what you really meant, how this could effect you or your significant other, your brain took a leave of absence. Its awful how people don't think before they speak. It's even worse how people think it's okay to fake feelings just to hold onto something until they find something better. Love is not what it used to be. I'm starting to believe that nothing lasts forever, and there isn't a happy ending for everyone. I remember recently telling someone who was down on luck in love that everyone has someone and to keep their head up because in the end that someone will find you. I'm starting to regret that, because I may have been wrong (I'm sorry!!) Is it really impossible for two people to be happy with just eachother, no bullshit, no games, no tests, just straight up Romeo and Juliet love (minus the suicidal parts.) I've just about lost faith in love... Yeah I said it. Sue me.
As far as future generations go ohh my do I have something to tell you, they're fucked. Sorry if that offends you or you disagree, but as you may have noticed I'm straight to the point. It seems to me, that slowly, the drop out rate is increasing all over the country. I went to a very competetive high school, typical all american dream shit. My entire class graduated. This year, at least 12 people dropped out or didn't graduate from what I've heard. I've also found out that one of the less admirable cities in Mass seems to be spreading into other cities and bringing them down with. I will not mention the name of the city to avoid arguements. Ignorance, and lack of ambition is a growing disease in this country. It's awful. It is NOT fucking cool to fail, it is not cool to live off of your looks, and it certainly isn't cool to waste your life away. It seems to be a new trend, the skirts get shorter, the books get burned, and the self respect dissipates. Maybe it's just because these people are young I don't know. But I'm losing faith in our future generations because they're losing faith in themselves, bottom line.


So I hope this dosen't get you too down, or make you lose any faith you had as well. I hope this intruiged you, made you think a little bit. It's just something I needed to get off my chest. I'm sure I have more to say, more detail to throw in, but I've been writing for a hella long time, not to mention my butts numb and I need icecream. =]