A Name-- Not A Number

So today in my Sociology class, my professor was rambling on and on about how he went from being somewhere where everyone knew eachother to being at a huge college where no one really knew eachother. He expressed his relief to be a number in a crowd rather than a name; I feel the complete opposite about that statement. Now I also came from a town where everyone knew eachother; with the exception of a few people... like me. I wasn't well known, being known at my school was a giant drama competition. And I was out for the count from day one. Now that I am here at school, I've become slightly recognized, which can be good or bad. All depending on who you ask, you'll hear different things about me. But most of the bad is from people who've barely spoken with me so it doesn't phase me. But what I'm getting at here is, I don't want to be a number, ever. I want to make a change, I want to leave an impact and impression on people who meet me. Another professor said to us yesterday that we need to stop texting, instant messaging, and talking on the phone, because we'll never find ourselves via email & such. She also said that once you find yourself, you will be happy, and people will gravitate toward you, because they see that difference and happiness in you. I feel like that is the first step to making yourself a name instead of a number. I feel like I have already gotten dangerously close to this step. I feel as if I've found myself and know who I am and who I want to be, but maybe theres just a little more to explore. I'm happy, happier than ever. I love it. And I can't wait to make that impact, and impression, I can't wait to make that difference I've been dying to make and get to that last step. I met someone recently who has obviously reached that final step. I was drawn to him the way that my professor had described. I remember bumping into him last year and it just occured to be that hes the same guy. The first encounter I had, I ran into him at one of the food places for the university and he was sitting there looking content as ever, almost unrealistically happy, just reading the dictionary. It was the strangest but most calming vision ever. This year, this mystery boy, is in two of my classes. In one of them he was sitting there spinning his book on his hand not even dropping it, getting ridiculed by these superficial guido boys in the back, but it didn't even phase him, he still kept doing it and didn't care. Then after speaking with him breifly in line to get food, I was sitting there watching him carry his tray to his seat and he dropped all his food on the ground. I figured he'd get all flushed, embarassed or annoyed by the mistake like most people, but he just looked at me made a joke about it cleaned it up and walked away. That boy, (I'm sorry young man?)has definatley discovered himself and acheived total happiness. I idolize him and can't wait to get to that point in my life.I'm going to be a name, not a number, although I do not know the boys name of who I idolize... he isn't a number to me. He's a nameless name. I'd even die to be that. So I'm going to stop typing, get up, and find myself, or find that little part I feel like I'm missing, because I'm so close, and today even more motivated to get even closer.