Home

"A house is made of walls and beams; a home is built with love and dreams."

Home is no longer a place, it is a state of mind. This struck me, as I was listening to "Home" by Katharine McPhee blasting through my pink headphones. It not only was the lyrics of the song that made me realize this, but the point I've come to in my life. The place I've always called "home" has never felt quite right to me, there was always something missing, always that feeling of belonging that just never made its way into my life. I never had moments where I felt like everything was okay, and that I was truly 100% happy, then I came to Providence. Boston, baby, don't get me wrong, I love you, and of course the few good friends I have left with you, but it just wasn't right. Yes Boston, thats right, I'm breaking up with you. Providence has so much more to offer. Providence holds (temporarily) two of my dearest friends, one of the few people who really seems to understand me, an escape, a foundation in which to build my life on, and a new beginning, a new me. These are all factors that I need to feel at home. These all build onto the state of mind that I'm talking about. In the song I had mentioned breifly at the beginning of this blog, the chorus goes a little something like this:
Does anybody know what it's like
To feel larger than life
To look deep in your soul
And know you're not alone
Does anybody know how it feels
To find something that's real
And make it your own
That's when you know that you found home
<--- This is the state of mind. This is the feeling I was missing all those years. I've never been able to put into words what home should feel like, so thanks Katharine McPhee, for doing what I could not. When I was in Mass, I always had that feeling that no one quite understood, and that I was surrounded by people who loved me, but I was still so alone. Now that I'm here, at college, for another year. I've finally found that sense of home. I do miss certain things back where I came from, that I cannot deny, but I do not desire to return for good. Right now, I feel understood, I feel like no matter what happens, I won't be alone. I do have a few people, who have made this feeling possible, and who have made their way into my heart unexpectedly, to thank for this. They know who they are though so I won't go on with names. I just needed to get this off my chest. It may not have been insightful, or fun to read, or even well written. But this isn't for you, I'm writing this for me...



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