Nothing is permanent

Someone I've somewhat recently lost in my life in one way or another once told me that when you do lose someone in your life whether it be by them dying, moving away or a breakup etc. instead of focusing on the loss you have on your hands you should think about what you gained from meeting them... Here's what I gained from this person. They always told me, from a buddhist perspective, that "Nothing in this life is permanent." I know this person meant it in a buddhist light, and didn't mean for me to take it the way i did, but what you learn from people is always open for interpretation in my opinion. So this is how I see it and what I learned... Nothing in this life is permanent... So why get attached. People have argued this point with me for hours, I'm mearly writing this entry as an outlet, so argue if you must but I'm not looking for a discussion particularly. ANYWAYS. We fall in love to fall apart. We stand by our friendships with honor and respect, only to be disrespected or simply grow apart because lets face it 90% of the friendships we obtain throughout life deminish or simply just stop. Then we spend all our time with our family, parents, siblings etc. Only to be with them til the bitter end and eventually have to bury them. I've come to the conclusion that this is why I always seemed to value my solitude. I mean yeah I'm a pretty social person, but I feel safest when I'm alone. No attachments. No distractions. Just me, the only thing I will never lose. The only thing I can depend on. We can't depend on the people in our lives all the time, because they won't be around forever. We can't depend on the earth beneath our soles because lets face it, not only is it depleteing with every chemical filled breathe we take, but it's changing. Nothing remains the same, nothing is permanent. Call me a pessimist. But I say I'm a realist. Depend on no one but yourself. Because in the end it's all you have left.

Beauty... A Solid Conclusion.

So continuing on the previous post (which you should probably read before you read this one) I have yet another encounter with the theory that beauty exists solely in perception.


Today in my sociology class we discussed C.H Cooley & G.H. Mead's concept of "Pride & The Looking Glass". Within this concept is the concept of self image. It states that self image is composed of three parts...
1. how we imagine we appear to others
2. how we imagine others judge our appearance
and 3. some sort of self feeling like pride or lack there of

Going off of what I stated in my last post, I'd like to disagree with the basis of which we obtain our self image according to the "Pride & Looking Glass" theory. For the first part of which we base our self image off of ( how we appear to others ) ... how can we honestly know how we appear to others, and judge our own self off of that. No being has the ability of inhabiting anothers body and mind, and seeing what others see. The fact that we really think we know how we appear to others, and let that effect our self esteem is rediculous. What you think someone else finds beautiful could be the complete opposite of how they really feel, and trying to satisfy that in order to satisfy how you feel about yourself is pointless and inevitably a waste of your time. You will never be able to completely satisfy others with your appearance 100 percent. The only person you can satisfy with your appearance is yourself. If you feel you look good, thats all that matters.

Even though the second part of what makes up our "self image" kind of goes hand in hand with the first part, it's still got it's own faults. To refresh your memory because I know I just said alot, the second part says that our self image is partially how we imagine others judge our appearance. Have you ever noticed how everyone dresses different? If you haven't you are either blind or lieing. Everyone dresses different because everyone has a different concept of what is appealing. How can you honestly get out of bed, get dressed and expect to walk out that door and have all of your peers approve of your appearance. At the expense of being repetitive beauty is a matter of perception, it is impossible to be visually and even emotionally/mentally satisfying to everybody. Skinny jeans are appealing to some, where baggy is appealing to others. Intellectuals are appealing to some, while carefree and flighty is appealing to others. We cannot expect all of our peers to judge our appearance the same way.

Finally, we get to the one part of this concept of self image I somewhat agree with (yes I actually agreed with something.) The final part that makes up self image (according to this particular theory) states that you must have some sort of self feeling such as pride or lack there of. The only reason this makes sense is because the rest of the definitions say something about how others percieve you. That does not matter. This says that how you feel about yourself, whether your'e proud with the way your'e looking/acting/etc plays a role in how you see yourself. Personally I think that is all you should use to build your self image. I feel once you have established this part of your image in a positive and solid way, untangible by others opinions, and irreversible, you will be able to remain content with yourself. Once you realize that the only person you can be totally and completely beautiful to is yourself, and once you find that beauty in yourself, you will be able to do anything. That is how self image should be defined. The other two parts that Cooley & Mead discuss in their theory are simply irrelevant to self image. They are invalid because it is impossible to generalize beauty. Especially in such a diverse society.


So as you dwell on this entry as well as the last take the following with you day to day. Next time someone says something negative about your image, whether it be looks, or personality, or whatever it may be, don't let it affect you. Just remember that you will never satisfy their perception of beauty because everybody's perception differs in some way shape or form. It's unavoidable. Just remember that you can only satisfy yourself, so work on that satisfaction. Don't waste your energy on buying into everyones perceptions, don't tailor yourself to your peers desires. You cannot be all the things they want you to be, the only thing you can be successfully is yourself. So find the beauty in yourself, and embrace it. You will be a lot happier, I promise.

Beauty...Perception

"Beauty is not real; beauty only exists in perception"


Have you ever really thought about that quote? I mean think about it. We sit here day after day judging the appearance of things. Our society is so image based and it's all based off a false idea that everyone finds the same things beautiful.

Have you ever sat there and debated with one of your friends about whether or not a certain person, clothing item, or piece of art is attractive? I had this discussion last night. The point was made by the other side that things would be out in such a greater perspective if we could just see things from someone else's eyes.

It really makes me wonder why everyday we all try to dress to impress, I mean what's the point if beauty is all dependent on a point of view. I guess all that really matters is that you feel beautiful.

Just recently my looks were personally attacked, and my friends tried to defend me and demonstrate that I was "beautiful"... Don't get me wrong, I'm flattered that people put their hearts into defending me. But why try and change someones perception? It's like trying to literally give them a new opinion, a new view, new eyes. Why waste my own, or have others waste their energy on being angry at people for their own views. I mean yeah, harboring their perception in such unecissary and negative ways towards me isn't exactly respectful, but why be angry?

Some people find skinny people attractive while others find overweight people attractive. And it's like if someone's perception is outside of the norm, we shun them, and people become afraid to express their views. Some people find dance as an art beautiful while others find music beautiful. Some find happiness to be beautiful while others embrace the beauty of misery.

If we could just borrow someone else's mind & eyes for a day, I think we could all appreciate the beauty of everything a little bit more. Everything has something about it that makes it beautiful.

It's like photography... A handful of photographers can all be given the same object or scene to capture, and each of them will find a different angle or view that represents beauty to them. Who's to judge which picture is beautiful or not? Who's to judge the beauty of others and criticize it? Take a look at the above picture, is it beautiful? Maybe not to you, but to me it is...