So continuing on the previous post (which you should probably read before you read this one) I have yet another encounter with the theory that beauty exists solely in perception.
Today in my sociology class we discussed C.H Cooley & G.H. Mead's concept of "Pride & The Looking Glass". Within this concept is the concept of self image. It states that self image is composed of three parts...
1. how we imagine we appear to others
2. how we imagine others judge our appearance
and 3. some sort of self feeling like pride or lack there of
Going off of what I stated in my last post, I'd like to disagree with the basis of which we obtain our self image according to the "Pride & Looking Glass" theory. For the first part of which we base our self image off of ( how we appear to others ) ... how can we honestly know how we appear to others, and judge our own self off of that. No being has the ability of inhabiting anothers body and mind, and seeing what others see. The fact that we really think we know how we appear to others, and let that effect our self esteem is rediculous. What you think someone else finds beautiful could be the complete opposite of how they really feel, and trying to satisfy that in order to satisfy how you feel about yourself is pointless and inevitably a waste of your time. You will never be able to completely satisfy others with your appearance 100 percent. The only person you can satisfy with your appearance is yourself. If you feel you look good, thats all that matters.
Even though the second part of what makes up our "self image" kind of goes hand in hand with the first part, it's still got it's own faults. To refresh your memory because I know I just said alot, the second part says that our self image is partially how we imagine others judge our appearance. Have you ever noticed how everyone dresses different? If you haven't you are either blind or lieing. Everyone dresses different because everyone has a different concept of what is appealing. How can you honestly get out of bed, get dressed and expect to walk out that door and have all of your peers approve of your appearance. At the expense of being repetitive beauty is a matter of perception, it is impossible to be visually and even emotionally/mentally satisfying to everybody. Skinny jeans are appealing to some, where baggy is appealing to others. Intellectuals are appealing to some, while carefree and flighty is appealing to others. We cannot expect all of our peers to judge our appearance the same way.
Finally, we get to the one part of this concept of self image I somewhat agree with (yes I actually agreed with something.) The final part that makes up self image (according to this particular theory) states that you must have some sort of self feeling such as pride or lack there of. The only reason this makes sense is because the rest of the definitions say something about how others percieve you. That does not matter. This says that how you feel about yourself, whether your'e proud with the way your'e looking/acting/etc plays a role in how you see yourself. Personally I think that is all you should use to build your self image. I feel once you have established this part of your image in a positive and solid way, untangible by others opinions, and irreversible, you will be able to remain content with yourself. Once you realize that the only person you can be totally and completely beautiful to is yourself, and once you find that beauty in yourself, you will be able to do anything. That is how self image should be defined. The other two parts that Cooley & Mead discuss in their theory are simply irrelevant to self image. They are invalid because it is impossible to generalize beauty. Especially in such a diverse society.
So as you dwell on this entry as well as the last take the following with you day to day. Next time someone says something negative about your image, whether it be looks, or personality, or whatever it may be, don't let it affect you. Just remember that you will never satisfy their perception of beauty because everybody's perception differs in some way shape or form. It's unavoidable. Just remember that you can only satisfy yourself, so work on that satisfaction. Don't waste your energy on buying into everyones perceptions, don't tailor yourself to your peers desires. You cannot be all the things they want you to be, the only thing you can be successfully is yourself. So find the beauty in yourself, and embrace it. You will be a lot happier, I promise.
1 comment:
I agree that beauty depends on perception, as does any enjoyment; music,touch, smell all depend on the individual's history, experience and current mood. But individual is not where Mead was coming from, that would be a psychological point of view, Mead was a sociologist, hence the theory is skewed to those ideals, ie. people's responses and action can be explained by group dynamics and "society." P.S. this is why I was a psych major and not a sociology major.
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