Catching Butterflies and Picking Up Pieces

I've finally reached that point. That point needs a little bit of clarification. My life is chaos. As of right now, I have two responsibilities within the University, a new job, a grassroots movement I have started, and an opportunity in a different field. I wake up, I go, and I do not stop. I march around the city in my heels, dress pants and blouse nearly everyday, get back to my room and somehow keep my cool. I finally have it all together, I've gotten to the point where I can be running around like a chicken with its head cut off and be completely happy. The old me would have broke down crying but something is different. I figured out what it was as I was walking down the street listening to the song "You Gotta Be" by Des'ree. One line in particular stood out to me, mostly because I disagree with it. "You gotta be calm you gotta be cool you gotta stay together, All I know, All I know is love will save the day." I agree with the first half of the quote but honestly, I'm not sure if knowing that love will save the day is what keeps you going was the message she was going for, or if the message was that even if its not okay you'll have love. Either way, I disagree. Because honestly I think our dependence on love to make everything okay is one of our biggest faults as a society filled with hopeless romantics. Don't get me wrong, I'm a hopeless romantic, but I like to believe I'm a tad more realistic than some others... What it comes down to, is sometimes all a girl really needs is herself. We waste so much time being torn and trying to have someone piece your heart together... Well how can they piece it together, if not even you can? The reason I have reached the point in my life I just discussed, is because I learned to piece myself back together. I've always been the one to wait for someone to swing through and save me from my last heartbreak. This time I saved myself from my heartbreak. I didn't allow people to save me. I even pushed people away. I had this sense of detachment from love, because its like I knew I was the only one who could help me. I'm happy right now because not only did I fix it, but I rebuilt my life stronger than it ever was. I'm chasing all my dreams and even catching them in a butterfly net. I've been fragile about it, not wanting to break any wings, but not letting my dreams flutter away, and I think that is why I haven't lost my cool. I think since I fixed myself, I've finally learned how to be independent, and how to take the time I need for myself. When someone picks you back up and pieces your heart together it's like you owe it to them to love and care for them with all your time. You are all of a sudden devoted. Since I'm the savior now, I can now dedicate the time love and care for myself that I've been so casually giving to my past saviors. This has GOT to be why I am so happy now. The only person you can really love and care for with all your time, and not regret it or be disappointed about doing so, is yourself. You will never break your heart, and you can never be a waste of your own time. Because although we may let ourselves down now and then, we are never really gone, leaving ourselves with pieces to pick up. So as I gather myself, and chase my butterflies, I will not turn love away, but I will not allow myself to depend on anyone but me. No one can chase your dreams, or please yourself more than you. No one knows what you really want inside, except for you. Keep that in mind. At the risk of being cliche and cheesy...Love, and be loved, but most of all, love yourself.